Have you ever feel so confused?

3rd of September 2009 , 4.24 am.

I was back home after a great supper with my mom. I went to the room. Changed and chucked my emo-ness to a side. As they always said medidation calms your mind and your soul. So i tried it out for about 15 minutes. It was a great relief and i had to do something instead of wasting my time on online games.Took a ciggarette, skimmed through my facebook and i finally decided to write a blog. It was hard to accept the harsh reality from a person that you really love. It seems only yesterday I was holding her on my arms, but now it feels like i've lost something and i can't do anything about it.

So, enough of my sentimental talk. If you ever love someone that bad , make sure you are willing to take risk,worries,troubles and many other negative feelings during the bad times. I've learn to control myself from anger as hard as i can. That was the promised I made to myself to retribute the pain and feelings that she has already felt. Though there wasn't a gap within us , it seems there actually were.


(please skip the below paragraph if your are not interested in religous or spiritual oppinions).


THE MEANING OF LIFE?


As Jesus loved the world, he gave his blood and flesh just for the salvation of mankind. That is something no one can ever do in this world ,believe me.No love can be so strong than his and this is the reason christianity has become a part of my life and how my faith was strengthen. Discovering ourselves from oblivion that is the thing that we should do in order to have eternal peace.



I always wondered since I was 16, is life just like this? (Studying,Working very hard for a living, Getting married , Get old and Die?)
I always have this doubt and i think that life is just like a match stick. When you are just conceived you sparked and lighted the darkness for a little time. After you are out , you just die off like any other match stick. The only thing I have to say to those famous or influential people, is you are like any other match stick u just shine brighter thats all. That is why people are envious to each other. So I hope someone in this world can finally find out whats the meaning to life, and finally share to people like me and to those who are still in the abyss of finding out what is it to life. PEACE OUT!


I composed a poem to Yinky = ) hope you guys have the time to check it out.



This a poem i compose in the middle of the blur:



To a special person that meant the world to me :


I ask of a tale more happy then words,
The story was worst then hurracaine or floods,
Seek the to the sky i onced said,
The shadow I see is going to fade,

Thus time proves its course,
Telling you why this love is even worst,
Forbidden or unhappy was not on my mind,
It was you that clear my skies and we were destined to find,

Un-raveled this complication to its simplest form,
The reason why is behind those songs,
The poems that seeks to your heart,
Now the distance is futher then apart,

I still have the emotions to say,
That another day is what we owe ourselfs,
Believing on what is wrong and right,
Thats the message which i convey, brighter then light.





Sincerely, True by me Marcus